Japanese Grammar Matters, But Context and Emotion Matter Even More

When reading translated works, if every sentence is translated too literally, the result can feel painful to read.

But when learning a foreign language, translating a sentence’s literal meaning and preserving the original word order as much as possible can often improve learning efficiency.

Today I want to talk about a grammar point that teachers often explain in a very complicated way, drawing layers of diagrams until beginners become dizzy. I never treated it as something especially scary, because I believe in one basic fact: the core usage of a language exists so that ordinary people in a place can communicate conveniently. It cannot be that complicated.

Examples First

私は友達に本をあげました。
I gave a book to my friend.

私は友達に本をもらいました。
I received a book from my friend.

友達が私に本をくれました。
My friend gave me a book.

Pay attention first to the English translations above. How should we understand あげます, もらいます, and くれます?

How I Understand It

• When describing myself:
  If I give something to someone else in an ordinary way, use あげます.
  If someone gives me something and I feel happy or respected, use くれます.
  If I am simply answering where something came from, use もらいます.

• When describing other people:
  If someone gives something to me or to someone connected to me, the feeling is similar, so use くれます.
  If someone gives something to a person unrelated to me, use あげます.
  If the focus is answering how something was obtained, use もらいます.

That is the normal usage. Below are some less standard examples.

• Suppose Lao Wang hosts a birthday dinner, and someone gives him a very shabby gift. If he feels unhappy and says who gave him the thing, he might use あげます.
• Suppose someone got something from you and then shows it off proudly. If you hear about it and feel annoyed, you might make yourself the subject and use くれます, with the feeling of “What is he showing off for? He only has it because of me.”

I will not give too many examples. I have not verified every detail, but I think the general direction is close. If someone with strong Japanese finds a problem, please correct me.

I have always believed that language is connected to emotion. If you remove emotion and only memorize grammar mechanically, that is a road with no return. Emotion is probably the soul of language.

A Small Extension on Emotion

• 彼は日本で仕事を探し易いと言った。

• 彼は日本で仕事を探し易いと言っていた。

Both sentences mean “He said it is easy to find a job in Japan.”

My understanding of the difference is whether the person reporting the statement consciously aligns with the original speaker.

The second sentence has a feeling of “that was what he said, not necessarily what I think.” It emphasizes that he said it; I am not the one claiming that finding a job in Japan is easy.